I am going to run for President. I’ll be old enough and I sure can’t do worse than some other people running.
I’m going to start with the revolutionary approach to allowing women to make policy that affect their bodies.
I’m going to follow-up with marriage equality across the board. No exceptions (You hear that The South?). (Churches, you can do whatever you like under your roofs, no one is going to force you to do things against your beliefs on your own ground).
Marijuana, I can’t stand the smell of it, but I’m going to legalize it so it can be sold and taxed.
Military spending. We’re going to spend more of what can keep us safe and less on things that we feel the need to build because that’s what we’ve always done.
Alternate Energy. That’s a thing we’re going to promote and explore. Elon Musk may end up as Secretary of Energy.
Climate Change is a thing that’s happening. Let’s try not to make it happen as fast.
Guns. You’ve got enough of them. Want to hunt? Fine. Home defense? Great. Need to own military grade weapons? Then you’re joining the military. Welcome to my new solution to the draft. If you need military weapons, you’re going somewhere where you’ll learn how to use them properly and where they can be used if necessary. (Texas, most of you are going to be in the armed forces by 2017.)
Finally, I’m going to be wrong and change my mind because that’s what humans do.
I’ll need to find a running mate. Operators are standing by.