Tagmen

Recipe for a shooting

Men are unable to deal with their emotions. We’re taught from an early age to man up and be tough. No one is going to see you cry.

And it’s garbage. Men are emotional people too. We cry. We hurt. We have emotions but it’s not allowed for us to display them.

So we pick up guns.

We go online and scream at people to make ourselves feel better. We form hate groups. We harass women and minorities. We act out violently towards anything we don’t understand or disagree with.

We don’t know any better. We were never taught any better.

Chuck Wendig wrote what I wanted to say so go read his words.


It begins with men. Young men, usually.

(This is a recipe that simmers a long time on the stove.)

>You teach them that the world was made for them. That they own it and can do what they want and take what they desire. You also teach them that they are not allowed to express themselves. Doing that is to be like a woman, and men are told that they are very explicitly not women. Men own everything, remember. It is their right to own and to want and to take. Women are lesser, for they do not own the world. So to be like a woman — to cry and to manifest other feelings — is to be lesser. It’s not that they don’t have feelings. It is that they are taught to keep them inside. In boxes and bottles. In lead-lined trunks locked tight lest they ever escape.

Men and Women and Internet

Good Morning Class.

Please open your textbooks. We have a lot to cover today. David Cain has written an incredible piece to young men. It is required reading. Go read it. I’ll wait.

Dear Young Men

…he unfortunate biological reality that even a physically unremarkable man can knock out the average woman, if he thinks it will help him more than it will harm him….

Unlike the woman, the man could expect to get his way without having an intelligent argument, without considering the needs of others, without being right at all, without any sensible reason for things to go his way.


Welcome back, class. Now that you have a better understanding on what it means to be a man and human in society. Go read Kathy Sierra’s incredible piece. It’s terrifying and exhausting and it brought me to tears reading it on the metro ride in this morning. We don’t need movies to show us women super heroes. Everyone woman on the internet is a Super Hero.

Trouble at the Koolaid Point

As any parent of a two-year old can tell you, ignoring the child usually leads to escalation. Cry harder, scream louder, and in the most desperate scenarios, become destructive. Anything to get the attention they crave. Simply moving on is not an option for the haters once you’ve been labeled a Koolaid server and/or a rich source of lulz. Ignore them, and the trolls cry harder, scream louder, and become destructive.

If you’ve already hit the Koolaid Piont, you usually have just three choices:

  1. leave (They Win)
  2. ignore them (they escalate, make your life more miserable, DDoS, ruin your career, etc. i.e. They Win)
  3. fight back (If you’ve already hit the Koolaid Point, see option #2. They Win).

That’s right, in the world we’ve created, once you’ve become a Koolaid-point target they always win. Your life will never be the same, and the harassers will drain your scarce cognitive resources. You and your family will never be the same.

Are you still with me? Good.

If you’re a woman on the internet, I salute you. Keep doing your work. I will support you.
If you’re a man on the internet, support these women. If you’re a man on the internet, call out those who are not.
If you’re raising a boy in this world, teach them to be empathetic and loving.
If you’re raising a girl in this world, I hope by the time they’re older we’ve made positive changes.

We can be better. We will be better. This is harassment. If this were happening in a workplace, on a playground, in a supermarket, there would be police action. There would be jail time. There would be consequences.

If there are no consequences, nothing changes. Let’s make a change. But how can you, a single person make a change?
Simple.

  1. Don’t harass women.
  2. When you see a woman being harassed, stand up for them.

Class, you’re dismissed. Go forth and be better humans.

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