Carl T. Holscher fights for the customers.

Category: Introspection Page 12 of 22

Personal posts

bonfire via Unsplash.com

Hate begins at home

I don’t understand how to live a life so afraid. What’s so scary about “them” you have to take a gun into a place of worship and shoot people? How can you live a life so afraid of strangers you’re compelled to kill them? How is that going to help? Who are you helping?

Certainly not yourself. You’ll be caught and imprisoned. Or killed.
Certainly not the victims, their family or their community. You’ve managed to destroy all those.
Certainly not “society” at large or your cause. Whatever misguided cause you believe you’re helping by murder.

The question I want to ask the shooter is: What did you want out of this? What did you expect to happen? What was the point of all this?

I don’t understand why. I want to. I want to know how it could be that shooting people is OK.


I grew up in a small, rural, white town. I can count on one hand the number of black kids we had in our school. There were even fewer Hispanic kids and except for exchange students, no Asian kids either. I have seen where hate like this grows and flourishes. I believe it grows from ignorance. Never knowing another life. Never seeing other kinds of people. It’s easy to hate what you don’t understand and have never seen.

I knew people growing up who had never left the county they lived in. Many had never ventured out of Virginia. There is one family I know that had only ever been as far as Richmond, VA to the State Fair. They’d never been on a plane. Never gone to Washington, D.C. They never got out of the tiny bubble that made up their world.

They farmed. Sent their kids to school until high school graduation. Then back to the farm. College wasn’t a reality for many of the kids I grew up with. There was no value in an education past 12th grade. They went to school long enough to get a high school diploma. Then it was back to the farm. Back to their families. They grew up and married people they’d know their entire lives.

They never left.

This is not a unique story. This happens all over in small communities. I’ve met people with similar tales all over the place. When you’re living in a small community like that, you become the product of that environment. And if that environment is racism and hatred, then it’s what you become.

Maybe you don’t know better because you’ve never known any different. Maybe it’s the years of being told you’re doing so poorly in life because of them.

Them could be the blacks of the gays or Hispanics. They could even be other white people who went to college. They got an education and now make more money and have a better quality of life. They’ll have what you never will.

This does not excuse it. This is not an excuse for the violence and the murder and the death. This does not make it right. This does not make it OK. I do not condone the violence or hatred. But I understand it. These are very different things. I am not excusing it.

When you’re entire world view is us vs. them it’s easy to see where the hatred and violence take root. But to have any hope of closing the rift and addressing this problem, we need to know how it starts and where it comes from. Knowing how it starts and how it perpetuates itself is the first step in combating it and saving lives.

Patrick Rhone wrote a post today worth your time. It’s important to step back from reacting. There’s a root to everything. It doesn’t happen by accident.

patrickrhone / journal » Right Understanding

Ideas and beliefs do not form in a vacuum. They are usually the product of some perception or experience. Some of these may be the same as yours. Others may be vastly different. So different, in fact, that you immediately recoil from and reject them. Yet, these ideas likely formed from very similar places and likely for very similar reasons as yours. The opposite side simply arrived at a different conclusion.

Holscher 2016 Presidential Platform

I am going to run for President. I’ll be old enough and I sure can’t do worse than some other people running.

I’m going to start with the revolutionary approach to allowing women to make policy that affect their bodies.

I’m going to follow-up with marriage equality across the board. No exceptions (You hear that The South?). (Churches, you can do whatever you like under your roofs, no one is going to force you to do things against your beliefs on your own ground).

Marijuana, I can’t stand the smell of it, but I’m going to legalize it so it can be sold and taxed.

Military spending. We’re going to spend more of what can keep us safe and less on things that we feel the need to build because that’s what we’ve always done.

Alternate Energy. That’s a thing we’re going to promote and explore. Elon Musk may end up as Secretary of Energy.

Climate Change is a thing that’s happening. Let’s try not to make it happen as fast.

Guns. You’ve got enough of them. Want to hunt? Fine. Home defense? Great. Need to own military grade weapons? Then you’re joining the military. Welcome to my new solution to the draft. If you need military weapons, you’re going somewhere where you’ll learn how to use them properly and where they can be used if necessary. (Texas, most of you are going to be in the armed forces by 2017.)

Finally, I’m going to be wrong and change my mind because that’s what humans do.

I’ll need to find a running mate. Operators are standing by.

Lens

We all work through the lens of our own experiences. Each of us view the world slightly differently than our neighbors. We all filter the experiences and input through our own values, opinions, upbringing, experiences and environment.

I am different from my brother. I have different attitudes than my mother and father. My wife and I see things differently. As do my co-workers, grandparents, uncles, and the stranger I rode next to on the Metro this morning.

We are all processing the variables of the world into our own understanding of it. And that understanding is going to be different from everyone else.

I am unique. You are unique. We are all unique.

I understand that I will process the world in my own unique way, and I try to remember other people will too. My understanding is not The One True Way.™ But neither is yours.

I can’t see the world through the eyes of another person. What may hurt me, they may not even notice. What brings their to rage may not even register in my brain. All I can do is to regulate my own actions and words. I don’t set out to offend. I set out to live my life and try to do right by myself and those around me.

I try to work for the common good and see the world from a larger perspective than myself. But it’s hard and I don’t always do a good job of it. But I try.

And trying is what makes the difference.

Photo by David Ragusa

The less I understand the world around me. 

My Life Rules

I live my life by two rules. I don’t care what other people do with their lives if it doesn’t hurt people. And the most important one, treat other people how I want to be treated.

Who am I to say what’s right/wrong? If it works for you. Screw it/him/her/them. Do it. I don’t understand why people feel the need to police other’s actions.

From a chat with a friend last week:

S’true, though. You want to be a better person, you live your life hurting nobody, and you don’t worry about things that don’t hurt you. If everyone else did that, imagine all the free time the world would have.

Simplistic? Maybe. But I don’t waste my energy hating people or trying to change who they are.

No one is entitled to your time, and you can stop at any point you feel yourself running out of energy.

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