Category: Observations Page 51 of 90

March2March

On April 3, 2014

I like long projects. I like them because it’s a fun challenge to keep something going. That said, I dislike starting from January 1st. There’s so much going on the first of the year. I don’t like to start anything new on the first of the year.

So I started in March. I decided to take and post a photo everyday for a year. I chose March2March because I intend to post from March 1st, 2014 to March 1st, 2015.

Will I make it? Only time will tell. I’ve already missed a few weekend days in the first month. I’m not perfect. It’s not about perfection. It’s about taking pictures and sharing them.

After nearly forgetting to post a photo a couple of days, I decided I needed to make this project as simple as possible. I needed to automate it.

I’m not a programmer or anything fancy so I used a simple solution. I turned it https://ifttt.com.

I take all my photos with my iPhone, so I started there. First, I needed to differentiate March2March photos from the rest.

So I made a new album on my iPhone and named it March2March. Any new photo I want to post, I add to this album.

Then IFTTT takes over. I used a recipe to post from that album to Flickr.

This will post the photo to my public Flickr stream and tag is with March2March and Project65. Now that the photo is somewhere I can easily find it later. Then I share it using this recipe.

It takes any new photo from Flickr tagged March2March and posts it to Tumblr. Originally I had it add the photo to the queue but sometimes it would not get posted for a few days, depending what I had there, so now I have it post automatically.

It’s not a perfect system. I still need to go into Flickr and manually add the March2March photos to a set there. And sometimes the IFTTT recipe doesn’t trigger because my phone has to be on WiFi for it to fire due to cellular data usage.

But it works well enough for me and allows me to easily share a photo I take nearly everyday.

Trauma is an insidious enemy

By Carl

On April 2, 2014

In Observations

Trauma is a tricky thing.

When you live through a trauma you’re never over it. Not completely. There’s always a specific starting point to trauma.

April 16, 2007.
April 20, 1999.
December 14, 2012.
September 16, 2013.
September 11, 2001.

Trauma has a starting point

These are all starting points to trauma. These are all when terrible events took place. Lives ended. Lives were changed forever. They’re still changing. That’s the thing about trauma. There is no end date.

The events ended quickly. The media converged and plastered the airwaves and the lives of those who lived through it with coverage. Then, even as the last news van rolled out-of-town, the trauma remains.

The perpetrators, victims in their own right, completed their acts of violence. But the trauma ripples through the lives of everyone touched by it.

Trauma has no expiration date

It’s not an everyday trauma. Not for everyone. If you lost a loved one when the towers came down, or a friend in a school shooting. That stays with you. Your grief is eternal.

Even if you weren’t directly affected. You made it through. You were lucky. But it still affects you. There is still trauma and it’s still a part of you. But it’s a different trauma.

A more insidious trauma. It comes out of nowhere when you least expect it. You can be perfectly fine watching a television show. Then all of a sudden it turns dark. And that trauma shows itself. It crept out of the dark side of your mind. A reminder of what you lived through.

That trauma sneaks out of the shadows and yells BOO! It’s there. Right behind you. And you’re reliving the pain. That day. Those weeks. The same feelings. The memories. The crystal clear moments. And the hazier ones. All coming back.

The trauma is real and present. Even if you’ve not thought of it for years, it can return in an instant. That’s why people write of trigger warnings.

Trigger Warnings

If you’ve suffered a trauma, it can get triggered. And the emotions it evokes can be as strong as they were the first time around. Imagine the worst day of your life.

Now, imagine that in 7 minutes you’re going to relive it. Out of nowhere. Because of a TV show you’re watching. Or a blog post you’re reading. Or a Facebook update.

Someone tweets. And you’re in tears. Shaking and sobbing.

The trauma relived is no better than the trauma experienced. It’s a safer place. You know, in your mind that you’re safe. It’s not happening all over again.

But it feels that way.

Not your trauma

There is a statute of limitations on trauma. I don’t know when it is. But there is a time when the remembering and reliving of that trauma can be minimized. It’s still a trigger for everyone who went through it.

When the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks occurred, I couldn’t help but think of the families who are having to relive the horror.

Those who knew someone killed. The first responders and their friends and family. Everyone who lost someone that day. Now they’re seeing it everywhere.

Never Forget?

There is a time for forgetting. Not to forget and deny. But to forget by not talking about it. A time when those who are hurting can hurt in private. Their hurt doesn’t need to be put on display. This isn’t something for ratings or page views. Their pain is not for sale.

Let them grieve. If they want to talk about it. Talk with them. Love them. Support them. But don’t co-opt their grief. Don’t make their pain your pain.

It’s not your grief

Everyone of a certain age remembers where they were when John F. Kennedy was shot. There was a time for mourning. There was a time for pain and public discussion. But that time has passed.

Just as it has passed for those hurt and continue to be hurt by the violence on 9/11. Just as those families in Columbine and Newtown hurt. Just as those Hokies that lived through the worst day of their life hurt.

Their hurt is their own. Don’t make it yours. Don’t take their grief as your own grief. You’re not helping anyone. Let them hurt in private. Don’t be a trigger. Be mindful of your actions and words. Don’t pretend your hurt is their hurt.

Everyone hurts differently. Everyone grieves differently.

April is a bad month for violence. Don’t make it any worse.

Snowballing

By Carl

On April 1, 2014

In Observations

Mayan Corp.

Since I wrote yesterday about Chick Fil-A and Mozilla, there have been some other good takes on the topic.

JD Bentley comes out burning bridges and guns blazing in Mozilla FireEich. He writes,

Today, in a fit of rage and righteousness, I dragged Firefox to the trash can icon in my Dock and let go forever.

Boom. There it went. One browser among many now being dumped into the waste paper basket. Now Firefox is not a paid project. But they do make the majority of their money from the Google bar. That means they need people to be using it to make money. So each deleted browser is a couple of pennies plinking to the ground.

One man’s stand against Mozilla won’t ruin them. But given enough people…

If Eich remains CEO, people may be forced to consider an opposing view, however articulately and delicately laid out, as something other than outright bigotry and madness. That’s wholly unacceptable. If an individual’s viewpoint is clearly–clearly!–on the wrong side of history, it ought to be discounted and buried immediately. And Mozilla ought to be the one doing it. I’m not in need of a philosopher, a priest, or a politician. I need only my web browser.

Web browsers are plentiful and not hard to get. Switching it a trivial task. So trivial many people may not. But enough may move on to hurt their bottom line even just a little.

OK Cupid front page on Firefox

Joe Steel pointed out something interesting. Visit OK Cupid from Chrome or Safari and Internet Explorer you’ll be greeted by a woman asking you to sign up. Now visit from Firefox.

I agree with him when he writes,

This increases the conversation, but it can really antagonize people by getting in the way of what they are doing. That doesn’t really put someone in the mood to be receptive.

A for intent, D for execution.

It’s good to bring attention to an issue, but getting in the way of your users isn’t always the best way to do it. Intent is good. Execution may be lacking somewhat. And despite other reports, you can still access the site from Firefox. You need to scroll below the message first.

Joe raises a couple of excellent points. First, “For historical reference, B.E. never said anything about same-sex marriage until his donation was outed in the published donations that followed Prop 8’s passage.” He never spoke out against it. He put his money where his beliefs were. And again, there is nothing wrong with that. But when it become public, there will be consequences for that action.

At the end of the day, this will all go away as the Internet Outrage Machine finds some new cause to champion. Joe continues,

Unfortunately, just as before, this conversation will soon fizzle and he’ll keep being exactly how he is, and probably maintain his position as CEO for a decent chunk of time.

And he’s probably right. Unless there is another chapter or Mozilla feels threatened enough to act. Like Joe, I think Eich is standing on the wrong side of history. And while we are slowly moving towards the eventuality, as recent history is showing.

We are moving forward. Things are getting better. I could have not said it better, so I’ll borrow Joe’s words.

These seismic spikes in conversation slowly move public perception of these issues. Much like tectonic plates creep along, and then shudder, violently. Something changes, people react with big, bombastic conversations about it, and then it dies back down.

Derek Powazek, who wrote a wonderful post on How To Apologize Online. I’ll end the same way this all started, with a tweet.

So the moral of the story is, when it's time to apologize (like after the prop you supported has been ruled unconstitutional), APOLOGIZE.

— Derek Powazek (@fraying) March 31, 2014

Conversations and Consequences

By Carl

On March 31, 2014

In Observations

This all started, as many things do, with a tweet.

Oh no! Someone has a different opinion than me! He ought not have a job for that! http://t.co/JU9DQR7EvZ— J.D. Bentley (@jdbentley) March 31, 2014

It’s something I’ve thought a lot about but neglected to dip my toe into the pond on, partly because my own thoughts were still half-baked. I wanted to avoid a knee-jerk reaction.

Commentary tracks to our lives

Why can’t we just stay out of each other’s lives? That’s a question that’s been bouncing around my head a lot lately?

Is it because Reality TV shows have taught is it’s OK to turn someone’s life into a topic of public discourse? Is it because social media has opened the door to our lives in unprecedented ways?

Whatever the reason, the window has been smashed, the front door kicked down and our lives are now open for discussion. And that discussion is increasingly less civil and more angry.

Conversations

We need to have conversations about our differences. But we’ve lost the ability to do so. In Trusting Others J.D. Bentley writes,

We’re unable to have proper discussions anymore. People these days are either incredibly apocalyptic or incredibly messianic, incredibly black or incredibly white. Instead of seeing disagreements in shades of gray, or as sound and unsound arguments, people look at the opposing side as the enemy not worth hearing out. They take an apocalyptic approach to diplomacy. The enemy can’t be talked to or negotiated with, only destroyed.
This is most evident today in conversations surrounding same-sex marriage, wherein opponents are cast as hateful and ignorant “bigots” regardless of the tack or reasoning employed and proponents are cast as pushers of a monolithic and mythological “gay agenda”. Both sides build very shallow stereotypes in order to assault the other. If your fellow man isn’t a man at all, but a self-made concoction of everything you hate, of course you’re going to say other people can’t be trusted. We like to see the best in ourselves and the worst in others.

Everyone who agreed with us is the ally and everyone who disagrees is the enemy. But it’s not true. We’re all people. We’re all products of our environments and upbringings. We’re all people. Right and wrong are variables. They’re not set in stone. That’s the beauty of beliefs. They can be changed over time. But not by screaming.

When anyone who doesn’t agree with you is the enemy it’s hard to have a dialog. It’s no wonder our politicians can’t get anything done. They shout at each other from across an aisle. That’s how we interact with each other these days.

We’ve forgotten how to converse.

One thing I cherish is a good, conversation with someone I don’t agree with. A well-reasoned, thoughtful discourse on a topic. The goal is not to change their minds. Nor should their goal be to change mine.

Our mutual goal is to share where we’re coming from so we can be closer as people. And to hone our own beliefs by examining them and making them our own. If one of us has a change of heart as a result, that’s an unexpected bonus. Not a stated goal.

But it’s harder and harder to have such a conversation, especially online, even in less-public forums. It is not my goal to convert you to way of thinking. Just to share what I think.

Corporations are people.

Like it or not, if you’re the CEO or President of a company. You’re the public face of that company. And just as our private lives are open to scrutiny, so too are our public actions.

A company is made of people. And those at the top make up the company’s image. There is no longer a divide between who makes up a company and the company’s image.

Chick Fil-A is now Hate Chicken after the President and CEO spoke out against gay marriage. The company quickly deleted it and PR took over. But the damage was done. A controversy raged for weeks with people calling for boycotts of the restaurant and others rushing to defend it resulting in a record-setting sales day. By March 2014, the company had stopped funding anti-LGBT groups.

Despite the reversal in funding and public image, once branded, it’s very hard to remove the image from a company still run by the same man who made the original statements. Another company is having the same problem.

Mozilla, makers of the Firefox web browser, is just the latest in a line of companies that are learning an important lesson.

You can have your own beliefs. And you can spend your money where you want. But if you’re the head of a company, your views are going to be attached to that company. You are not an island. You are the leader. Your head is on the chopping block and what you say and do matters.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion

Is the head of Chick Fil-A able to be sad about gay marriage passing? Sure. Is the head of Mozilla’s donation supporting Prop 8 in California well within his right? Absolutely. They’re entitled to their actions and those actions have consequences.

But Chick Fil-A is going to be branded as Hate Chicken and lose business by those who won’t support those views. Mozilla has already had people step down because they won’t work for the newly-appointed CEO. As the leader of a business, your actions can hurt that business even if it has nothing to do with the business directly.

Let’s Play A Game

Gay marriage is a hot button issue. There’s no quicker way to get blood boiling. Let’s move it out of that realm into another one. How about something we’ve solved long ago? What about racism? That’s over right? Or women’s rights? How about Christianity? This is the land of the free isn’t it?

Let’s take this article and rewrite it’s headline.

Mozilla Staff Urge Their CEO To Step Down Because He’s Anti-Black.

Mozilla Staff Urge Their CEO To Step Down Because He’s Anti-Women.

Mozilla Staff Urge Their CEO To Step Down Because He’s Anti-Christian.

Mozilla Staff Urge Their CEO To Step Down Because He’s Anti-White.

Would any of these be OK to say? If a CEO of a company came out and said these things, would that be OK with you? Not if you don’t agree with it.

Phobias

The fight for marriage equality is racism all over again. This is not to say racism is over and dead. Because it’s not. But this is the same battle. It’s just harder to see who the enemy is because they’re not conveniently a different color.

While I don’t agree with those who are against equal rights for everyone. I respect their difference of opinion. I respect that in this country we’re allowed to have differing opinions. That’s what this country was founded on. Freedom.

We’re allowed to disagree but when you voice and opinion or give money towards a way of thinking you’re accountable for that opinion. When you give money to support Prop 8, you’re going to lose support from those who aren’t with you.

When you give money to groups looking to keep people from marrying, those who want to marry and those who support their fight are going to stop supporting you.

In your private life, you can do and support what you choose. But when you’re the head of a company and your actions are public, does that change? No. You can still do and say what you like.

However, when you’re the head of a large group of people, not all of those people are going to agree with you. And to those outside the group, it may seem that the group mirrors those beliefs.

What you say matters

Everyone is accountable for their own actions and statements. I’m allowed to say and do what I feel. But I also know that those actions and statements don’t exist in a vacuum. They matter. They can hurt. They can help.

We’re allowed to disagree. We’re allowed to have our beliefs and support what we want. But don’t be surprised when your beliefs aren’t the beliefs of everyone. They’re allowed to the same rights as everyone else.

The CEO of Mozilla can choose to spend his money to prevent gay marriage. Those working for Mozilla can choose to speak out against that and the organization. They can also choose to resign and work elsewhere.

Chick Fil-A’s CEO can do the same. And as a result, he will draw protests and supporters. His profits will rise and fall.

What we say matters. And when you say it from a position of leadership, what you say reaches far and wide. Actions have consequences.

Zombies

By Carl

On March 28, 2014

In Observations

Why are we so fascinated by Zombies? This morning io9 posed this question and it got me thinking about why I love zombie fiction.

Zombies are so fascinating because they’re a blank slate. Because they have no personalities or characteristics other than undead. They can be anything.

They can slowly shamble towards you. They can run, hopped up on viral powers. They can morph into hideous beasts. They can overwhelm you simply by their relentless pursuit. They never tire. They never stop.

They can be anything that fits the tale to be told. I enjoy zombie fiction and have read numerous books about them. What keeps me coming back is how different they are.

Often times it’s not the difference in zombie, but how the surviving humans relate and interact with them. How much is known about them? How are they viewed? Is it a noble profession to quiet the undead because they too were people once? Are the zombies hideous creatures unleashed from hell as punishment?

Are they walkers? Biters? Zom-Zoms? Z? Zed?

They’re one beast with many names. And because they’re a blank slate they can morph to be anything. That’s what makes them so appealing.

There are tales of zombie love stories. Zombies as pets. Zombies capture the imagination because they are us. They’re relentless molds we fill with our fears, hopes and emotions.