{"id":5099,"date":"2018-07-16T20:25:21","date_gmt":"2018-07-17T00:25:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/?p=5099"},"modified":"2018-07-17T14:22:02","modified_gmt":"2018-07-17T18:22:02","slug":"facebook-boyfriend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wrote-about\/facebook-boyfriend\/","title":{"rendered":"Facebook Boyfriend"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I was an active and avid Facebook user for a very long time. I got an account with a .edu address before it was open to the rest of the public. I would check but I deactivated my account last September. And today I requested it be deleted. In 14 days it will be gone (assuming we believe Facebook ever truly deletes anything).<\/p>\n<p>Merlin and John had an interesting exchange about Facebook at the end of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.relay.fm\/rd\/75\">episode 75 of Reconcilable Differences<\/a> about the Facebook Boyfriend.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/pca.st\/NSU4#t=7460\">Audio Clip<\/a><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><b>Merlin:<\/b> After Friendster and MySpace, Facebook came along and it&#8217;s so pretty and freshly scrubbed and it was like the boyfriend with the good job who brought flowers.<\/p>\n<p><b>John:<\/b> And dressed nice and combed his hair.<\/p>\n<p><b>Merlin:<\/b> Believed in event dining and having friends over and asking how your day went. And you had a pretty good boyfriend in Facebook and then at some point it became less<\/p>\n<p><b>John:<\/b> He started doing meth.<\/p>\n<p><b>Merlin:<\/b> Hang on. Hang on. Now we&#8217;re in a relationship. He still picks up his socks. But maybe he doesn&#8217;t always put the seat down. And then you get two years into it and you&#8217;re suddenly realizing things are stable? It feels stable. It feels like things are mostly ok. I have a lot of friends that are getting divorced and that&#8217;s really sad. But this is OK right? This is good&#8230; right?<\/p>\n<p><b>Merlin:<\/b> And now you&#8217;re 10 years into it and you&#8217;re still going, This is good, right? Because it&#8217;s familiar. But yeah. Maybe he&#8217;s doing meth and you haven&#8217;t figured it out yet.<\/p>\n<p><b>Merlin:<\/b> But would you walk into Facebook today as a new experience? Would you walk into that ecosystem today knowing the risks, benefits, ups, downs and what you&#8217;re actually going to put on the line?<\/p>\n<p><b>Merlin:<\/b> It really is going to be an ex-boyfriend in 6 months. He&#8217;s mean to other people but he&#8217;s nice to me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This mirrors my experience with the service. It was a breath of fresh air from Myspace. Myspace was the wild west of media. It was Geocities with the same glitz and glam gifs. I used to leave comments with a 1000px wide transparent gif embedded in it for the spam sites. It would completely break the site of the spammers.<\/p>\n<p>Facebook was uniform. It was fresh and clean and legible. It was the good boyfriend. It was a place to hang out and meet other people in college. There were no companies on it. No parents. No other people outside of schools. I still think the defining moment is when it opened up to companies and advertising.<\/p>\n<p>Though that may be the least of it given where Facebook has gone since. Between the data leaks, privacy destroying bugs and general negligence the trade offs are too great.<\/p>\n<p>I turned off my account last year because I wasn&#8217;t enjoying it anymore. It was so desperate to show me content, it would pull things from people I never knew and don&#8217;t care about.<\/p>\n<p>The sister of your old co-worker&#8217;s boss had a baby.<\/p>\n<p>Cool.<\/p>\n<p>A friend posted in a group you aren&#8217;t interested in.<\/p>\n<p>Neat.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Long ago Facebook stopped being about people and started being about sharing (mis)information.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I want to see how my friends and family are doing. Where did you go? What did you eat? What&#8217;s going in in your life?<\/p>\n<p>Posting the same news stories repeatedly with a comment isn&#8217;t the same.<\/p>\n<p>The few people I kept up with on the site were fun. But the rest of the site is a mess and I didn&#8217;t enjoy being there. I was in a couple of groups. So I used the Facebook Groups app.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/fbfacts\/390237724681928\">Until they killed it.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>It was time to make a decision. Was Facebook worth it? And that answer was no.<\/p>\n<p>I deactivated my account on September 27, 2017. I wanted to make sure nothing broke when I did. I used the &#8220;login with Facebook&#8221; for a few things and wanted to make sure they didn&#8217;t fail.<\/p>\n<p>They didn&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p>I also wanted to see if I could stop using the site. Did I miss anyone? Did anyone miss me?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe? But just this last weekend one of sister-in-laws asked if I had seen something on Facebook she posted.<\/p>\n<p>Nope.<\/p>\n<p>I decided it was time to delete my account entirely after the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wired.com\/story\/facebook-gave-russian-internet-giant-special-data-extension\">latest<\/a> in a long line of data breaches.<\/p>\n<p>Facebook is gone from my life.<\/p>\n<div class=\"_3bJ2H CHExY\">\n<div class=\"_1l8RX _1ByhS\">Photo by <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/v7NLC-GZ3_k?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Asdrubal luna<\/a> on <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\">Unsplash<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was an active and avid Facebook user for a very long time. I got an account with a .edu address before it was open to the rest of the public. I would check but I deactivated my account last September. And today I requested it be deleted. In 14 days it will be gone [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5170,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"New Post - Facebook Boyfriend","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[1267,30,98],"class_list":["post-5099","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-wrote-about","tag-addiction","tag-facebook","tag-social-media"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/asdrubal-luna-692227-unsplash.jpg?fit=5760%2C3840&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5099"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5171,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5099\/revisions\/5171"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5099"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5099"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/peroty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5099"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}